Sunday, April 9, 2017

The Internet: An Addiction

So a few days ago I was sitting at my computer, trying to get myself to focus, when suddenly disaster struck. My INTERNET went out. I felt the familiar sense of panicked denial as I started refreshing the page a few times, then the router. Nothing. I waited for a moment, hoping it was just a bump in the road. Waited. Waited. Nothing. Not a problem, I'd just call my internet provider and find out what the deal was, maybe see if they could help me out. Heart rate rising, I reached for my phone and dialed them up, only to be greeted by a cold, mocking busy signal. But...it's an automated number! Things were getting out of hand. I could sense the shakes coming on, my vision blurring. Four more tries to my internet provider, busy every time.

I sat there in my cold, lonely room, trying to rationalize it to myself. There are other things I could be doing without the internet. In fact, I'd been trying to work on my writing all day. Begrudgingly, I opened a document and put my fingers to the keyboard. My brain sent the signal to my fingers to begin typing. Nothing. Oh god, the withdrawals were already setting in. All I could think about was *what if.* What if I needed to look something up? What if I needed to e-mail someone about the story? For God's sake, what if I needed to tweet about what I was writing?! It was more than I could take.

Of course, writing would be much more productive without the internet, but somehow it's much more painful when it's gone without your consent. How quickly I succumbed to the inner battle between what I wanted and what I needed--not to mention I was actively at a stand off with my computer. One of us had to give, and by God, it wasn't going to be me. Yeah, this was no laughing matter!

It's so easy to forget just how much we rely on the internet until it's gone, even if it's only gone for a little while. What is it about the world wide web that has us twitching when it isn't available at our fingertips? What's worse, why do we let it prevent us from being as productive as we should? We write because we love it. Love it more than the internet, probably. Getting away from it is healthy, even if losing access can make a person a little bitter. The most prolific and successful writers have to fight the urge to get online. As much as I've been growing and learning lately, that's one lesson I still can't kick in. Maybe this internet break needs to be a daily thing. A little discipline is definitely in order. This was my chance to take a good look my issue. I have a problem, and admitting it is the first step to recovery.

The feeling of panic began to subside, and my brain started to work again. I needed a break; my writing deserved it. So I stopped glancing at the little box in the corner of my screen that told me whether or not I was connected and got to work.

In the end, I had no choice but to close my browser and resign myself to my writing. By the end of the day, after the withdrawals had subsided, I had written 3200 words. And wouldn't you know it? Eventually my internet turned back on.

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